just fyi

some people might get the idea that I don't want to be a mother... and sometimes I wonder myself...but I think, only a parent will understand regrets or frustrations such as mine.
It isn't that I don't want my children. I'd rather die than not have them but sometimes I wish I had waited just a liiittle bit longer to have them. I just wasn't ready and it took me a long time to get used to my new role.
My grandmother was right....you better make sure you're done with all that you wanted to do with your life (all your passions, career, etc.) before having a child, for once you commit to being a parent your life is over and it will from there on only be about your child. (If you plan to be a good parent, that is.)

so, as not to jinx myself (for sometimes I am a bit superstitious... i.e. "be careful what you wish for") .... I thank God for my children every day.