Saturday, September 17, 2005

what is the right answer?

This is what the problem is. I tell Dario my request for emotional support packed into a general complaint. Tonight: perfect example. I ended up babysitting 4 kids from 7.30 until about 10pm and this after a whole day with my own kids, and a previous night of clubbing until 5am. Needless to say I was exhausted and needless to say I was non-stop buzzing around trying to meet the needs of 4 young children during bedtime routine, while trying to clean up the worst mess.

Finally, Dario comes home from his afternoon out on the town and I tell him my frustration or …how I feel. I say something like “my God, I'm really not good at this whole motherhood thing. … If I had four kids, I think I’d go crazy.” –
so, give the kids to me and I’ll look for one of those good domestic kinda wifeys…you know a Dominican one or an Arabic one.” he says
you’re an ass” is what I thought. “Why can’t you see that I am asking for emotional support. Why do I have to spell it out? Why can’t you just ask me “why? Why are you saying this?” or why can’t you first and foremost say “stop talking bullshit, you’re a great mother. You give all you have, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed.” (HA HA HA …YEAH, right. Like that is ever gonna happen. An informed, compassionate, mature response to my insecurities.)

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